The Bag Lady In All Of Us
…..Alexa, play Erykah Badu’s “Bag Lady”...
Now, I recognize that the mere notion of a Bag Lady doesn’t bring about the best picture. As Ms. Erykah vividly described throughout the song, you get this visual of a woman just being weighed down by the everyday life. From the relationships, to the friendships to just trying to pay the bills. It can feel heavy, daunting. Unattractive, even. To the point where we use different things to mask it with everything from material things to people pleasing.
But isn’t that true of all of us? Whether it’s a paper bag or a Telfar, we are all essentially baggage handlers, carrying our own baggage. The question becomes: Why do we try so hard to hide it? Who told us we had to? Why do we run from it? And what happens when we just…don’t?
And thus, the creation of The Bag Lady’s Tea Room. The work I do through my brand of Melanated Masks has always been focused on mental wellness for us all. But the reality is, it continues to be a work from my heart as someone who also goes through her own personal struggles through life, love and community. As I continued to grow the brand and experiment in this new age of social media, I tried my hardest to blend into the changed landscape of reels and vids as I scrolled through my timeline of mental health clinicians all doing…well…the same thing. These short tidbits and manageable bite sized pieces of information just to fit on the For You Page. But it didn’t feel full. It didn’t feel like me.
In a strange turn of events, life imitated practice as I searched for what *did* make me feel full and that continues to ground me in my healing path. The only place that held the answers wasn’t in the present but actually a little more than 10 years in the past. The version of me that loved to write to express my life as colorful as can be, before adulthood started kicking up. It led me to dig up my very first blog as I reminisced on the brink of a new decade in my life. It was messy, slightly hilarious (if I do say so myself) but also brought insight to the reality that is coming of age: life, love, career, friends, and family. So, on this search of wanting to do me the best way that I can, I returned back to my first love while I journeyed back to myself in order to best connect to those like me.
To the people who are just trying to get it right.
To the go getters who are navigating on auto pilot
To the ones that are “too much”
To the ones who grieve their former selves, relationships, people, places and things that you have outgrown (or that outgrew you)
I could go on. But the reality is that we are all Bag Ladies (or Bag People). Regardless of degrees, age or even our level in our healing journey. I know your back is tired, fam. Mine is too. So this space is the monthly reprieve to not only drop the bag but ruffle through it a bit. Maybe even organize some things (like receipts you’re holding from 2003. You know you don’t need that no’mo…). This is a space to drop lessons, explore the stories that go with them and the different herbal/therapeutic tools to guide use through it all. Bedazzle your bag, grab a sip of your favorite herbal blend and let’s get to it!
Questions that need answers (QTNA):
What is something from your youth that made you feel alive? Why did you stop?
